Courtesy of Zara.

An Intimate French Wedding & the Summer Whites Edit

There are so many beautiful ways to get married. Some weddings are grand and generous, filled with music, dancing, family, and friends from every chapter of life. Others are smaller, quieter, and built around a table. I don’t think one is more meaningful than the other. What matters, perhaps, is choosing the form of celebration that feels true to the people at the center of it.

A wedding, like a life, should be allowed to have its own proportions. It does not have to resemble anyone else’s dream. It does not have to follow every tradition, every expectation, or every beautiful idea one has seen elsewhere. It does not have to become a whole season of events, unless that is what genuinely brings you joy. It can be expansive and festive, if that is what feels right. It can also be simple, intimate, and deeply joyful in a quieter way.

As we began thinking about our own wedding, I realized I was naturally drawn to something smaller. More intimate. Closer, perhaps, to the feeling of a family dinner than to a grand event. Our wedding will take place in Amsterdam, where we live, with fewer than twenty people in total. The exact place will remain a surprise for our guests. There will be a civil ceremony in the afternoon, followed by a four-course dinner in the evening. No DJ, no large party, no formal dress code, no elaborate program. Just a joyful, convivial celebration around a beautiful table, and perhaps, if the evening feels like continuing, a bistro afterward for anyone who wishes to stay a little longer.

To me, this feels very French in spirit. Not because it follows a particular rule, or because there is only one French way to celebrate. But because there is something I have always loved in the idea of doing things simply, carefully, and without too much fuss. A place with charm and character. White tablecloths. A few flowers. Good food. People we love. A sense of occasion, but nothing ostentatious. Something pretty, without being decorated into another version of itself. Something joyful, without needing to be choreographed. Something special, but still very much like us.

And perhaps this is what planning a wedding has reminded me: the most beautiful celebration is not the one that follows a particular idea of what a wedding should be. It is the one where you can breathe. The one that leaves room for the moment itself.

If you have always dreamed of a grand wedding, with dancing, many guests, and a whole weekend of celebration, I think that is wonderful. There is something beautiful about gathering everyone you love in one place. But if you have quietly felt that you might want something smaller, a civil ceremony, a dinner, a handful of people, a day that feels intimate, personal, and quietly joyful, I hope you know that this can be beautiful too.

And, of course, as I began thinking about the day itself, I also began looking for what I might wear. I have never been especially drawn to the idea of a traditional wedding dress for myself. Nothing too long, too voluminous, or too bridal. I have been looking instead for something white or ivory that feels like me, only slightly more special. A dress, perhaps. Or a simple set. Something that belongs to the day without overwhelming it. Something I could imagine wearing not only for a ceremony, but also for a dinner, a summer evening, or a future anniversary.

And as I searched, saved, ordered, returned, compared fabrics, and looked through far too many white dresses, I realized that many of these pieces could be useful beyond my own wedding. So this edit is partly inspired by my own wedding search, but I hope it is useful beyond that. Whether you are getting married, attending a white party, planning a summer celebration, or simply looking for something luminous to wear on a beautiful evening, these are the pieces and ideas that caught my eye along the way.

A Few Notes on Choosing a Civil Wedding Dress

If you are looking for a civil wedding dress, or for a non-traditional bridal dress, one thing I have learned over the past few months is that price is not always a guarantee of quality, beauty, or fit. Only you know how much you paid for your dress.

What matters is not the price tag, but the way the fabric moves, the way the dress falls, and the way you feel when you put it on. I recently ordered a much more expensive dress that, in person, did not feel as luxurious as I had hoped. The fabric was not as beautiful as I expected, and the dress was far more transparent than it appeared online. Later, I found another dress at a fraction of the price that felt much more elegant and better made.

So my advice would be: look widely, and do not assume that the most expensive option is necessarily the most beautiful one. It can also be worth looking at places like The Outnet, where previous-season white or bridal pieces are often reduced. Some of the most beautiful finds are not necessarily from current bridal collections, but from past seasons, evening wear, or simple white dresses that were never designed exclusively as wedding dresses.

If you can, consider ordering a few options. Not to overcomplicate the decision, but to give yourself freedom. You may want to choose depending on the weather, the mood of the day, or simply the version of yourself you feel closest to when the moment arrives. You might also decide to change later in the day, especially if your wedding continues from a ceremony into dinner or an evening out.

And do not underestimate tailoring. Sometimes the best dress is not the one that fits perfectly straight from the box, but the one that can be made yours. If needed, take your usual size, or even a size up, and have it altered so it falls exactly as it should. A simple dress that fits beautifully will always look more elegant than an expensive dress that almost works.

If the dress itself is very simple, the accessories can carry the mood. White tights with a short dress. Satin shoes. Crystal or pearl earrings. A small headband with a veil. A white bow in the hair. A pillbox hat. Embroidered tulle gloves. These details can make even the simplest silhouette feel intentional, personal, and quietly special.

But perhaps the most important thing is this: whatever dress you choose, you will be elegant if you feel like yourself. The point is not to find the perfect dress in theory. It is to feel present, comfortable, beautiful, and free enough to enjoy the day. Because in the end, the most important thing is not whether the dress was expensive, traditional, unusual, simple, or dramatic. The most important thing is that you have a wonderful time.

Want to wear romantic whites beyond the occasion?

This week’s Edit Privé continues the idea of summer whites in a more everyday direction: how to wear lace, embroidery, crochet, and ivory cotton without looking bridal, beachy, or overdone.

Inside: a 9-piece capsule, 5 real-life looks, and the French styling logic that gives romance just enough structure.


This article is unsponsored. If you choose to buy something through my links, I may earn a small commission, always at no extra cost to you. I only share products I genuinely love and use myself. Merci.

The Summer Whites Edit

  1. As an American who is attending a French wedding this summer, I am wondering if the guests will change clothing between the civil ceremony and the reception at a chateau, and the after-party?

    1. They definitely change for Italian weddings. Sweeter floral or suits during the ceremony, evening drama after.

    2. Bonjour Annabelle! How exciting to be attending a French wedding this summer. To answer your question: it generally depends on the schedule of the day. If the civil ceremony at the mairie (city hall) happens in the morning followed by a long break before the chateau reception, some guests may choose to change. However, most guests typically wear one elegant outfit for the entire day, perhaps refreshing their look with a change of accessories or a bolder lip for the evening. If the ceremonies are on two different days, then absolument, two different outfits are required!

  2. Your wedding sounds delightful, and from what I can gather about you after multiple years reading this blog, very very you, which is perfect.

    My own wedding was very simple. I moved to the US on a fiance visa, so we had what we called our ‘paperwork’ wedding, intending to have the ‘proper’ wedding a few years later. It never happened, and we’re coming up on our 22nd anniversary! Now that we’ve lost 2 of 4 parents (and of the remaining two, one is in the advanced stages of alzheimers and the other is not a big part of our lives), I don’t think we’ll ever have it. But no matter. Our wedding day was fun, I wore a pretty strapless knee length white dress that no longer fits me, but that our 13 yr old loves and plans to wear for a future event of some sort. There was a trapeze outside of city hall for an expo, and we did it right after our ceremony. We had an intimate dinner at the restaurant that became our anniversary tradition until it closed during Covid.

    Some of the best weddings I’ve attended have been the small ones – you actually get to talk with the bride and groom. There’s never a sense of drama of the bad kind (not all big weddings have that of course). Everyone feels really special for having been included, which just gives a wonderfully intimate and cozy vibe. If I *was* going to have a wedding, I’d do it very similarly to how you are.

    And if the gorgeous selection of whites above is any indication of the style you’re gravitating to, it’s going to be a stunning event, and I for one am excited to see (afterwards) the final selections that you made!

    1. Dear Lindsey, your message touched me so deeply. Merci infiniment for reading and following my journey here for all these years; your loyalty is truly the most beautiful gift.

      Warmest congratulations to you on 22 years of marriage! It is such a magnificent milestone, and I sincerely aspire to the same; my partner and I have been together for 10 years now, and your story is a beautiful inspiration for our own future. I am also so deeply sorry for the loss of your parents and for the difficult journey you are navigating with your parent in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s. These moments in life have a way of reminding us of what is truly essential.

      Regarding our own wedding, we were actually thinking along the same lines. We initially planned a small civil ceremony this year with just family and close friends, intending to have a larger wedding in France later. But given our schedules, our careers, and, to be honest, the other big projects we are dreaming of, I’m not sure we will ever ‘get around’ to that big event. So, I prefer to think that this intimate celebration will be our wedding. I hope we can create such lovely, lasting rituals as you did!

      What you said about small weddings (being able to actually talk to the bride and groom and making every guest feel truly special) is exactly what we want for our day.

      And on a little ‘style’ note, I have indeed ordered two dresses and two pairs of shoes from that very selection to see which ones make me feel the most ‘me.’ I am always the first reader and user of everything I share here! Once I find the perfect dress and shoes, I’ll start looking for the jewelry and accessories to finish the look.

      Thank you again, Lindsey. Your compliments and good wishes mean more to me than I can say.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The Correspondence

A weekly letter on French style, beauty, and the art of living.

DISCOVER arrow pointing right